I was about half way through my pregnancy and we had and ultrasound scheduled for a sex check. Adam’s father was standing there as the ultrasound tech smiled, she knew we had four girls already. She looked very happy “you want to know the sex of the baby” she said. We were wild with anticipation that is was finally a boy. ITS A BOY!!!! Then as quickly as her smile came, it disappeared. She quickly dropped her ultrasound device and left the room. In came the doctor and I will remember these words forever… “you need to come to my office” the most dreaded words parents EVER want to hear. We followed him to his office and there he told us that my one and only son had either Spinal Biffida or Downs Syndrome. I said well which one and was now crying as hard as I could out of pure self pity. He said “I don’t know for sure we are sending you to Boston in three weeks”. Those weeks were the longest weeks of my life the thoughts that were going around my head I couldn’t even comprehend. Why my only son? I will never attend a baseball game, boy scouts or any of the other things little boys get to do.
Brigham and Women’s Hospital, Boston MA
On that day I woke up trying to keep busy and positive until my ultrasound appointment which was very hard to do. We got into the ultrasound room with the tech and a doctor. When they got the wand to the spot where you could see a full view of my son’s body and he did the most amazing thing… he waved at us… my son waved at us!!! At that point nothing anyone had to say mattered this little boy was coming into this world. Suddenly, all my fear and doubts gave way to joy and happiness. https://thetechboy.com/ The doctor stuck the needle into my stomach and withdrew amnio fluid. After about 20 minutes they came in and told us the my son had Downs Syndrome. Then the doctor proceeded to tell me about late term abortions, what balls this guy had! There is no way on God’s green earth I was going to murder my child just because he had an extra chromsone! I told him in rather angry terms to be quiet my son waved at me he is alive and he was a perfect gift from God. I asked him to leave and we left the building somewhat relieved that it was not Spinal Biffida we could manage Downs Syndrome.
The day after our news that we were having a child with Downs Syndrome we went the library. I gathered every book I could find on Downs Syndrome and also stories about children with Downs. We read all of the health and behavioral problems associated with Downs. They included, leukemia, heart problems and so many other things but I was so hungry for knowledge that I couldn’t stop reading. Then we came across a book called Adam’s Story, instantly we knew the name for our son Adam, biblical meaning first man.
I thought how fitting he is going to be the only boy in our family and when I called out Adam to my belly he did a series of kicks so I guess we got instant approval. I proceeded to contact anyone and everyone I could find with a Downs child and I asked if they knew they were having a child with Downs would they go through the pregnancy and the answer across the board was yes absolutely!!! My mind was made up to not only have this baby but to keep him (as we had been told there is a waiting list a mile long for adoption of Downs babies).
Here was where I truly fell in love with my son, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy by a long shot but love for your child knows no bounds. I had many of my friends call me stupid and told me all kinds of horror stories about children with Downs. One person said do you realize that you are going to be stuck with him for the rest of your life and I said with a huge smile on my face, YES!!!